She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
