i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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