Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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