Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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