The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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