She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize