I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
