What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
