Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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