I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
this just has baby written all over it
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize