My nipple is on Facebook.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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