I want to make a zoo with you.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
