He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I would fuck him just for his dog
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I currently don't understand fingers.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
