she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
