i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize