hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
