Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
