i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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