Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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