Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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