My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
