were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
