im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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