i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
