now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
