the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
