using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
