People in love make me want to vomit
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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