everyone is single if you try hard enough
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize