My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
