I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you win again, gameday.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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