All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
my poor anus
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Randomize
