is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
