We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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