just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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