I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
