meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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