How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
