just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
