Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
