I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
