Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
