winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
