nut hugger
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
