We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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