I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Randomize
