I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
