remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
