I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
