i just had sex bonerless
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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