I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
