I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I have so many feelings about this burrito
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
