I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
