is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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