Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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