We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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